Asking your child how they feel and really listening to their feelings are an important way to build trust and encourage communication.  Here are some tips and tricks:

·       Pause and stop what you are doing, even for just a minute, and look at your child when you are talking to them. Make eye contact and often times getting to their level (height) is helpful.

·       Check your body language: be present, focus only on your child, and stay still.

·       To show that you are listening re-state what your child says in your own words and try to find the emotions behind them. Once you have identified the emotion, label it. To do this: Does your child look sad, mad, happy, or excited when they are speaking? Try to guess what they might be feeling and name the emotion.  If you’re wrong, they will correct you.  If you’re right, they will feel understood.  Either way, you will be strengthening your relationship and will continue to build those trustworthy relationships and encourage communication.  An example of what this would sound like is: “you’ve said a few times that you are no longer enjoying being on the soccer team, you look pretty unhappy when you have to go”.